There’s a quote by Rumi: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” Easy for him to say. Back then it was like: “You are a carpenter’s son. You will be a carpenter!” and then you were a carpenter and you stayed in your village for your whole life and then you died. I’m not saying that’s the life I want or that I’m not grateful for the countless opportunities in front of me, but this shit is daunting. When your heart is pulled in 400 different directions, how do you choose? When you could be a farmer or a carpenter or an astrologist or an influencer or a political dissident, and they all seem awesome and equally appealing, what do you do? How do you choose? I don’t. I just get paralyzed. Anxious. Worried. Depressed. What if I make the wrong choice?
Maybe your girl should be more like Jordan Sparks and take it one step at a time. I keep thinking that I’m going to be a finished product like tomorrow. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be as an adult? Have it figured the fuck out? I need to get that narrative out of my head. A tree grows bigger and stronger every day, year over year. It doesn’t just go from seed to sapling to giant sequoia. That would be crazy, impossible. Also kinda unsatisfying. You look up at a sequoia and you’re like, “this mfer has been growing for 500+ years and it started out like the wee Charlie Brown x-mas tree.” And that’s where the awe kicks in. Look how far it’s come! And look at how huge and awesome it is now!! So maybe I’m gonna be like that. I’m going to look back on how far I’ve come in this life and be like wowwwwwww I did it <345 I gotta be a sapling before I can be a sequoia.
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